When I think about what has been MOST helpful
to couples in and mostly OUT of my office – these come to mind.
6 sec. hugs
Asking what they need
Here are the four in detail
- Gratitude meditation, means you take the time early in the day to generally be grateful and focus on some good thing about the relationship and/or your partner. Writing it down in a journal? Yes, that is a great way to solidify the thought. TONS of research supports this activity.
- 6 sec. hugs – The Gottman method suggests a six second kiss. Aim for at least 3 seconds in a nice tight hug at greetings and partings and whenever one or the other reaches out for one. Even if you have to pull them off the couch – do it.
- Eye contact – end the hug with some potent close eye contact that speaks from the heart – the eyes are the vehicle of attachment and long looks can help most people feel connected.
- Asking what they need – “Is there anything you need from me today?” then do it if you can or say you will think about it at least